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STILETTO – a high pointed HEEL on a woman’s shoe or a small dagger. WHEELS – a medieval instrument of torture or a vehicle for personal mobility. |
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Me: ‘They think I have a blood clot on my brain. I am going into hospital for an operation tomorrow.’ Response: ‘How awful for you. All of your beautiful hair will have to be shaved off…’ On so many levels, there is so much, and yet so little, to say about this response to bad news. Clearly, a life threatening condition, carrying with it the threat of extensive physical and intellectual damage, is the least of my problems! They say: ‘It is psychological. If you really wanted to and tried hard enough, you could walk.’ Is it possible to know someone who has never had any apparent difficulty in getting up and walking, dancing, running – and yet, to believe that they have suddenly decided NOT to get up and walk? Lose my job, my independence, my life? Why would I do that? Are you crazy? Until I became ill and didn’t get better, I absolutely believed that the mind was stronger than the body. Think yourself better, no problem! Now I know that sometimes an illness is just too major and you are stuffed. Accommodation becomes the smarter life path, or you can of course, keep banging your head on that brick wall! They say: ‘You are stressed. You work too hard. Your life is too pressured. You are destroying your body. If you give up these things and find inner peace with yourself, you will be well.’ Sweethearts, you don’t know what stress is until you get ill. Long-term illness is, by far, the most stressful thing that has ever happened to me. We are human. We are not perfect mechanisms. We malfunction and we die. All of us. Eventually. Get with reality. Illness is not something we do to ourselves. It is no-ones fault. It is part of the human condition and experience. Accept this, I have. Let's just move on. |
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