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STILETTO – a high pointed HEEL on a woman’s shoe or a small dagger. WHEELS – a medieval instrument of torture or a vehicle for personal mobility. |
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I had the usual rose tinted idea that you (and I) would die at some time in the future, at peace with the world, in no pain, in the glow of a life well lived, albeit over too soon. The reality, for you, has been an ongoing nightmare of pain, deterioration, ghastly hospital stays, doctors who cannot give all the answers, fear, anger, bitterness and the inevitability of a death which is all too swiftly approaching. You have tried so hard to stay calm, be brave, stoic in the face of the unknown and to bear the pain with good grace... but it has not been easy. With all your friends, I listen and wait, not wanting to intrude, desperate to help and be supportive but able to do nothing. I know that, as for us all, you may not feel your life has been perfect or even that you have been perfect in your life – we would all hope to be more perfect and to achieve more perfection if we had it all again - but I hope so much for you to feel peace at the end… the peace that comes with a life well lived and where you have been loved by your family and your close friends. In my life, just a few close people have meant so much to me and you are one of them. I feel lucky to know you, to have enjoyed your friendship and shared some small part of your life. Know that I love you. Sometimes there is no action to take, nothing that can be done. Life and death just are or are not. I feel the tears roll down my face because I have to say goodbye… I will remember you, in my life, with a smile on your face…always to be mirrored by the smile on mine. R.I.P. May 2004 |
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